Life as a werewolf
by Blodsten
Summary: Remus's third year. His secret is starting to get out. What'll he do when his friend desert him?
1. Found out!

Remus Lupin walked between the many shelves in the school library. He'd always liked it in here, with the dusty old books full of knowledge. He carefully chose one he thought could help him with his essay (What led to the 1678 goblin war?). He put the book down, found what he was looking for, and started writing down some notes. A shadow fell over the table where he sat, and when he looked up he was rather surprised. Lily Evans stood there, looking at him. Lily and Remus had always gotten along very well, but she used to avoid him by the fact that he usually were in the presence of James Potter. But if they met alone, it wasn't unusual they stopped and talked for a few minutes.

"Remus, I want to talk with you." she said with a voice that told him it was serious.

"Sure, Lily. Go ahead." he answered with a little smile.

"Not here, it's to delicate."

"All right, let's find someplace else then." Remus was pretty sure this was about James. After all, he'd been asking her out repeatedly during the last year.

They found an empty classroom not too far away. When they had settled down on one of the desks Remus expected Lily to start talking, but all she did was looking at her own hands in her lap.

"If this is about James bugging you, I can't really do much about it. He just won't listen to us."

"No, Remus, it's not about James. Though it is pretty irritating having him follow me around all day, ruffling his hair. But no, this is about you."

Remus felt dread flowing through his body. Had she figured it out?

"And what is that, Lily?" He tried to sound as though this was a normal conversation about the weather, but he was sure she hear his voice quiver just a little.

"I know what you are, Remus. I know that you're a werewolf."

Remus had gotten to his feet without realizing it. He backed away from her, moving slowly towards the door. Then he turned on the heel and ran. He ran back to the library, into the oldest and dustiest section there was. He was one of the very few students who ever went there.

He sank to the floor, shaking. He felt tears on his cheeks and he tried to sweep them away. He had to go to Dumbledore and ask to be sent home. There was no other way. He had been so happy when he got accepted at Hogwarts three years ago. His parents had told him not to get his hopes up, since it wasn't very likely a werewolf would be allowed to attend. But Dumbledore had helped them. He had made sure that Remus would get the same education as all the other children. Now it was over. He always knew this could happen, and that he had to leave before the rumour spread.

He didn't know how long he'd lain there. He figured that he must have fallen asleep. It was dark outside the windows as he went back to Gryffindor tower. He'd pack, then go straight to Dumbledore. When he entered the common room, the first thing he saw was Lily. She'd been sitting there, waiting for him. He didn't really feel like talking to her but she walked to him in, what felt like, a fraction of a second. As he couldn't get away, he surrendered to the thought of having to hear all the prejudices he had heard for as long he could remember.

"Don't worry, Lily, I will leave. I'm just about to pack."

"Why would you leave? I'm not asking you to do that."

"Yeah! You don't think people will chase me out of here tomorrow? Or just think of the amount of owls parents will be sending Dumbledore about not wanting their children associating with a monster." he said in a low voice, so nobody would hear them.

Lily looked very hurt by these word.

"I haven't told anyone, but if you really want to leave, then go ahead."

"You haven't told... Why?" His amber eyes showed exactly how shocked he was.

"Why would I? It's none of their business, or of mine for that matter. I just thought you ought to know that someone has figured it out. I may not be the last."

"But... How can you even stand to look at me?" He was going slightly hysterical now. He had no idea what to do, other then to leave Hogwarts if someone found out. That was something his parents had learned him before he turned eleven.

"Remus, let's go somewhere else." She was starting to worry that they would attract to much attention if Remus burst into tears in the middle of the common room.

"Our dormitory is empty. Sirius, James and Peter are all in detention."

"Okay, let's go there."

They went up the stairs and carefully closed the door. Remus sat down on his bed, while Lily chose Sirius's so she could face him.

"Does any one, beside me, know of it?"

"No, of course not. If you don't count the staff. They have to know why I miss classes every month."

"But why haven't you told James, Sirius and Peter. I thought they were you friends. Don't you trust them?"

"I would trust them with my life, as they would me. But they wouldn't if they knew what I am. They would never talk to me again, unless they would be the ones to lead the mob chasing me out of here."

"I know James is a prat, just like Sirius, and that Peter is shy and scared of almost everything, but I don't really think they would turn their backs on you. They're not like that."

"Ha! No offense, Lily, but it shows very clearly that you are muggleborn. Werewolves aren't befriended. The only way to get people talking to you is if you lie. They're scared of us, and I don't blame them. We're monsters, that's what we are."

"You're no monster. You might be once a month, but not now. Not when you're human."

"Yes, I am. Every waken moment, I imagine what would happen if I bit someone here at school. What if I'd bite one of my friends. The ministry would have me slaughtered, but I don't care. If the person I bit would survive the bite, then I have condemned the one to the same miserable life every werewolf have to live. I would do anything to save people from what it means being a werewolf."

"It's because of that you're not a monster, Remus. You want to save people. You want to help them. No monster would reason like that."

Remus knew he was considered to be nice, the only negative thing he'd heard would be that he's to shy and quiet, but he was still afraid of what he was.

"Please, Lily, don't tell them. I've wanted to tell James and the others so many times, but I can't. They might figure it out some time, but I just want to enjoy their company for as long as I can."

"I wouldn't tell them anyway. Although, I think you ought to tell them. They're not stupid, and they deserve better than you lying to them.

Lily got to her feet and went toward the door. She opened it and jumped backwards into the room again. Remus shot up and caught her before she fell. He then looked at the door and saw an extremely surprised James stand there.

"Hey, Evans! Didn't expect to see you here" His hand went through his hair as it always did when he was nervous.

"Hello, Potter. Aren't you supposed to be in detention?"

"Nah, Slughorn let me off a little earlier than he should. It's not bad being one of his favorites. I mean, he likes you too, so he can't have that bad taste, can he?"

"I wouldn't know, Potter. I try to stay away from his parties, so I haven't had any experience of his taste in people."

She walked past him, down the stairs, and up to the girls dormitory. James, who had followed her with his eyes all the way, turned to face Remus.

"What was Evans doing here?" The look on his face was of utter despair.

Remus knew perfectly well why though. James would usually spend, at least, fifteen minutes fixing his hair if he thought he was going to meet Lily. To have her thrown in the face like that must have come as a shock. Remus couldn't but smile at his friend's hopeless crush.

"We were just talking about the History of Magic essay. She wondered what books I've used to find facts." He felt ashamed about the lie, and even more because of how easy it came to him.

"Oh, so she's already started with the essay. I think I'll ask for her help tomorrow. At least I get to talk to her that way."

Remus hoped that she actually had started working on her essay so James wouldn't get suspicious.


	2. Lies

_Two months later..._

_The young boys were still asleep, even though the sun shone in on them through the high windows this Sunday morning. Remus silently snuck back inside the room and crawled into his bed. Last night had been a full moon, and he had taken off to the hospital wing before sunset, saying he felt ill. Madame Pomfrey escorted him to the shrieking shack as always, and went to tend to his wounds this morning. As soon as he was patched up, he went back to the dormitory and hoped that the others wouldn't have woken yet. He felt ashamed as he laid there and planned what he would say to them when they woke up._

James was the first one to wake, even though he was so drowsy he literary fell out of bed. The bang of James hitting the floor made Remus jump up in bed, realising he had fallen asleep.

"What's going on?" Sirius mumbled from under his pillow.

"Oh, don't worry Sirius. It's just James who's trying to walk.

James finally got to his feet and sat down on the bed rubbing his shoulder.

"Hi, Remus. When did you get back? I thought Madame Pomfrey would force you to stay the night."

"No, she let me go, but when I got back you were all asleep so I just went to bed."

"Aww! You should have woken us so we could party all night. I just love to see Sirius pretending to be drunk."

"You know James, we shouldn't encourage that kind of behaviour. Especially when it's Sirius we're talking about." Remus smiled at his friend, and got out of bed. He quickly got dressed, trying to hide the new wounds he got during the night. Sirius woke up Peter, who would sleep away whole days if they didn't, by yanking away his pillow and started hitting him with it.

They got down to the great hall and ate breakfast. James spent the entire time ruffling his hair and looking in the direction of Lily, while Sirius entertained Peter and Remus by mimic all of James's facial expressions. All in all, it was a good morning and Remus was happy there was no classes. The chairs in the classrooms weren't comfortable on a good day and even less when your body is covered in cuts. After breakfast they went down to the lake, sitting in the sunlight, enjoying the weekend. Sirius and James took off their shoes and socks and started splashing in the water. Peter soon followed suit, and Remus was soon alone on the grass. He pulled out a book from the bag he always had with him and began to read. He hadn't even finished the page before a shadow fell over him. It was Lily.

"I guess you haven't told them, huh?" She had a look of disappointment in her eyes. "I still think you owe them the truth."

"Lily, please..." Remus pleaded. "You know I hate to lie to them, and you also know why I keep doing it. Why can't you let me have this for as long as possible. Eventually they will figure it out, I know that. I just... It's nice to know what it's like to have friends. I never had friends before."

She surrendered and walked away. He looked after her as she went back to the castle and through the massive oak doors. When she disappeared from view, he turned to the boys who were still playing in the water. He thought they looked like little kids, even though they were thirteen. He tried to get back to his book, but couldn't really concentrate. His eyes kept sliding back to his friends, and his brain kept thinking what life would be without them.

Later that evening, only a few students were left in the common room. Remus had declined playing exploding snap, and had once again pulled out his book. While the others were playing, he enjoyed the sensation of adventures in different times and places. He nearly missed James's voice even though the words sliced right through Remus's mind.

"What've you done with your arm? It's full of cuts." His face showing sincere concern.

"Oh, it's nothing. I accidentally cut myself when some books fell over me in the library. Those stacks are rather unstable, and the pages are really sharp."

Sirius took a better look at Remus's arm before he could pull it away.

"That ain't paper cuts, Remus. What happened?"

"First of all, when did you start to talk like that? 'Ain't'? Another way to piss off your family, talk like the common folks?"

"Hey, don't change the subject. And, yeah, it's to piss 'em off." His face lit up for a moment while saying "...and it's working."

James quickly returned to the topic while giving Sirius a rather sharp look.

"Tell us, Remus! You know you can trust us."

"Yes, of course you can." said Peter who, until now, had taken his usual role as an observer.

Remus had long ago decided that the line 'oh, but I'm a werewolf' wouldn't work, but it was the only way he knew how to say it.

"Oh, all right. I got into a fight with a Slytherin yesterday. You know that big guy in fourth year, Greth Gnarbly? He didn't like it when I told him to stop harassing a group of first years. He used some kind of spell to cut me. It didn't work very well, though. All I got were these cuts on my arm and they don't even hurt."

Greth Gnarbly may not have given Remus his cuts, but everything else was the truth. Remus had gotten into a fight with him, but instead of being hit by a spell, Remus shot one at Gnarbly before he got a chance too. The first years were very grateful, and promised to back Remus up if the incident ever got reported to a teacher. Remus leaned back in the chair and sunk back into his book, while the others were planning how to get back at Greth. He couldn't help but to feel a stitch of shame when he heard them talking about some curse that caused boils.


	3. All is Lost

One month later...

The full moon was tonight. Remus could feel it, his senses on edge. He twitched at the smallest sound, smelled the lightest aroma. Yet he felt like he wasn't really there. He saw everything like through a mist. His friends thought he was getting ill again. After all, he always did.

It was the last class of the day, transfiguration. Professor McGonagall had showed them how to make an ornate chair out of a donkey. Sirius and James were more interested in where she'd gotten hold of the animal. Finally she grew tired of their nagging, and decided to let everybody, except the two, leave early.

Remus and Peter made their way to the Gryffindor common room and started with some homework. Remus was flipping through the pages of his book in search of some facts about George the Gorgeous (an amazingly handsome wizard in the 15th century), when Sirius and James came through the entrance.

"I can't believe she gave us detention. We only wanted to know where she got the donkey."

"No, Sirius. You wanted to know where she got it so you could give one to Professor Dumbledore for his birthday. McGonagall didn't really like that idea." Peter smiled as he said it.

"Why wouldn't she? I would be thrilled if _I_ got a donkey for my birthday, so why wouldn't Dumbledore?"

Remus smiled at their squabble. He actually thought that Dumbledore would love to get a donkey. The old Professor would see it as an extremely amusing prank. Remus looked at the clock. It was half past four, and he knew the moon would rise at about twenty to six. He would have to leave at least half an hour before the moonrise so he and madame Pomfrey would get to the shack in time.

The boys spent little time on homework, it was after all Friday. Instead they played expoding snap and chess (the muggle version). Sirius ruled at exploding snap, but Remus was clearly the best at chess.

Remus felt his body tense as the moonrise crept closer and he decided it was time to go.

"Oh, guys. I don't feel very good. I think I have to go to madame Pomfrey. Don't wait up."

"You sick again? What's your record of being well, two weeks?" Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, something like that." said Remus, smiling. "I guess I got some bad genes."

James rose and looked at him with a piercing look. Remus tried to look him in the eye, but couldn't. He felt his face burn of shame for lying, begging it wouldn't show.

"Hope you'll feel better. I guess madame Pomfrey will force you to stay the night. She's a bit fussy when it comes to you." but there was something in his voice, something that wasn't usually there.

Madame Pomfrey took him to the shack as usual, and came for him in the morning. He had somehow clawed himself pretty badly across the back during the night, and had several cuts on his arms, torso and face. He had, just before he started school, decided to get long hair. He developed the hair styling to an art of covering small wounds. Madame Pomfrey couldn't really do much for him, except giving him some pills for the pain. He hadn't had the heart to tell her they didn't help. He took one last look in the mirror before leaving the hospital wing. When he got to the common room the other guys weren't there, so he went up to their dormitory to get some rest. When he opened the door, the first he saw was Sirius sitting on his bed. Beside him was Peter, and when Remus looked around he found James on the opposite bed.

"Hello! I guess you were right, James. She did keep me over night."

"Yeah, sure. Is that really what happened? It wasn't because, shall we say... the moon?"

Remus felt his blood freeze to ice in his veins and his legs didn't want to support his weight anymore. He fell to the floor, paralyzed by fear. The cuts on his back opened and started to bleed once again. He tried to think of something to say, to defend himself, but his mouth was so dry he couldn't make a sound. James and Sirius helped him up on a bed were he crawled as far away from them as he could. For the first time in his life he was scared of the boys he had shared a room with for almost three years. He was terrified of what they would do to him. After all, an attack on a werewolf wasn't very severe in the eyes of the law. The ministry captured and beat them up themselves. Sometimes they would even kill them. But then he took a look at Peter, and what he saw was a reflection of himself. A boy, crawled up in a bed with his eyes wide open in fear of what was happening. Peter had been brought up as most young witches and wizards, with a genuine fear of werewolves. And it wasn't just Peter, both James and Sirius had heard the same stories. The stories that had given so many little children nightmares. The difference was that James and Sirius were brave. They had the courage to do things no one else did. James sat down once again, while Sirius remained standing, leaning on the bed post.

"Why didn't you tell us, Remus?" said James with contempt in his voice.

Remus didn't know how to answer. To avoid being an outcast, or perhaps even to avoid being killed.

"I didn't want to lose you as my friends." he said with a voice so small and weak he was bearly heard.

"Didn't you understand that we'd figure it out sooner or later?"

"Off course I did. I just tried not to think about it. I tried to enjoy a somewhat normal life with friends."

Sirius started moving toward him, and Remus felt the terror within him build once again. The glint in Sirius eyes were not the usual sparkle of mischief, but the look of loathing.

"Well, you just lost them!" The tone of his voice made Remus shiver and he felt tears burn in his eyes.

James, Sirius and Peter left the room and slammed the door closed, leaving Remus on the bed. His back bleeding, tears running down his face.


	4. Understanding

Later that day...

He had only gotten halfway to the front doors when Lily caught up with him.

"Hey, Remus! Wait a minute. Where are you going?"

He sped up, not wanting to talk to her. Suddenly she grabbed his shoulder to stop him.

"Why are you running from me? What's happened?"

"They've figured it out, Lily. They know." Once again he felt himself fall to the ground, but this time no one dragged him up. Lily sat down beside him and didn't say a word until he had stopped crying.

"You know, Remus. It's not the end of the world. I doubt they'll even care about you being a werewolf. They are pretty decent guys. They just need to process it."

His amber eyes met her green ones and she saw the pain.

"They told me they didn't want anything to do with me, and then they left. They're raised by wizards and witches, they're raised to hate me. When will you understand that, Lily. You don't have friends if you're like me. Mother and father lost all of their friends when I became a werewolf. When your child gets bitten by a werewolf, you're supposed to abandon it. That's why mom and dad became outcasts. Because they kept me."

Lily was shocked. She had, of course, heard of the fear and loathing of werewolves, but she had no idea how severely the werewolves themselves were being treated. She helped Remus up and led him back to the castle. Lily took him through secrets passages he didn't even know existed, until they were in a part of the castle were he had never been before. She had taken him to a room with soft crimson armchairs. The only light in the room came from a roaring firewhich warmed a kettle of water. She placed him in one of the armchairs and started making tea.

"My aunt says tea always helps when you're not feeling well."

She put some sugar in it and stirred. She handed Remus the cup, but he didn't drink.

"Come on, Remus. A cup of tea is good for you. It'll warm you right up." She moved one of the armchairs before she sat down so that she would face him.

"I don't think tea will help, Lily. I knew this would happen eventually. I only hoped that it wouldn't be so soon." He put the cup down without drinking any of the tea and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Lily quickly rose to attempt to stop him from leaving.

"I'm going to Professor Dumbledore. It's best if he knows as soon as possible."

"Please, Remus. Wait till tomorrow. Go to the classes and see what happens. Maybe they haven't told anyone."

He started walking towards the door, but she took a few steps to the left to block his path.

"Please, Remus. Just one day."

"Fine! I'll stay one more day, but it won't be pretty in the morning. I hope you'll learn something from it."

He quickly circled her and was out of the room before she had a chance to stop him. Lily stayed in the room for a minute, pondering all Remus had said. Would his friend really turn their back on him? She knew, of course, that Potter could be awfully annoying, but he seemed honorable enough. What would her friends do if she was a werewolf? Would they stand by her?

Lily went back to the dormitory and discovered that the girls she shares the room with sat on the floor talking. She sat down between Sarah Troud and Dina Freaser, so that she sat opposite of Georgina Thacker.

"What are you talking about?" She smiled at Sarah, who was a very sweet but clumsy girl.

"Dina's gonna tell us ghost stories. She knows the scariest stories ever." Sarah shuddered at the thought of the stories they were about to hear.

"Oh! Can I sit in? I haven't heard any good ghost stories in years."

"Sure, what do you want to hear? About the girl who met inferi, or about the terrifying werewolf that killed an entire village?"

Both Sarah and Georgina let out sounds of excitement about the werewolf story, and Dina began telling it.

"About ten years ago, in a village not far from here, a family lived. They had a son and a daughter. The boy was five years old and his little sister was only one. They lived happily just outside of the village, until someone came and knocked on their door. An old man stood outside, and begged for some food. The man and woman were kind people, so they let the man in and offered him food and a place to spend the night. Little did they know what the man really was..."

The story went on for quite some time and the girls went to bed with an unpleasant feeling of being watched. Lily tried picturing Remus as the old man in the story, but she couldn't. She couldn't imagine Remus doing something as horrible as that. She got out of the bed and ran down the stairs to the common room. She was hoping to find Potter and his friends there, and just as she thought, they sat around a table with their heads close together. She stopped right in front of James Potter, who looked quite shocked by hersudden appearance. He opened his mouth to greet her, but his words were cut short by the sound of Lily's hand colliding with his face.


	5. Comfort

_...He opened his mouth to greet her, but his words were cut short by the sound of Lily's hand colliding with his face._

"What d'you do that for?" James shouted as he tumbled backwards into Sirius Black.

"For deserting Remus." she answered coolly. "You lot don't deserve a friend as good as he, but _he_ doesn't deserve to be treated like this."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Evans. He isn't the 'good boy' you think he is." said James.

Lily took a quick look around to make sure they really were alone in the room.

"Oh, I know what he is, Potter." she nearly hissed at him "I've known longer than you, but that's not the point. He's still the same person you befriended three years ago." The way she glared at them could have scared even the fiercest troll.  
Sirius got to his feet, trying to back James up.  
"He lied to us! Is that what a friend does, eh? He's lied to us since we met him."  
"And can you blame him?" She practically screamed at him. "See how you reacted when you found out, you left him alone, crying. He was on the way out of the castle when I found him. I have no idea where he was going, but it was late and it isn't safe out there."  
"He what? He was going outside?" Sirius asked with a much weaker voice.  
"Yes, completely devastated. He fell to his knees and started crying again as soon as I caught up with him."  
The boys didn't look as tough and sure of themselves anymore. The image of Remus crying and wandering out of the castle at night didn't really make them feel better.  
Lily looked at them, but this time she didn't glare. She pleaded to them.  
"Please! You know Remus, would he really hurt anyone? He's one of the nicest persons I've met, and I don't think this changes anything."  
James quickly pulled himself together and said coldly,  
"I don't care! He's a werewolf, and that's all that matters." He turned and went up the stairs to the dormitory, the boys following him.

Lily was fast asleep in one of the big armchairs when Remus entered the room. He looked paler than usual and there were tracks of tears on his face. He really didn't want to talk to her, so he carefully went up the stairs to the room he shared with the other marauders. He tried to be as quiet as he could so that he wouldn't wake the boys. He pulled out his trunk from under the bed and started packing. He felt a little bad about it since he had promised Lily to wait, but he knew he couldn't. He had left a letter for Dumbledore saying what had happened, explaining that he was going away. Remus also asked the old man to tell the Lupins. Remus couldn't bring himself to go home to them, even though he loved them immensely. He didn't know how to act after being driven out of Hogwarts. Remus winced at the thought of his mothers look of despair, and his fathers clenched jaws. He turned his mind to the packing, and started folding his robes and socks, got all of his books and closed the lid. He made a quick spell and the heavy trunk immediately hovered a five inches above the floor, making it easy to move. He took a hold of the handle and went down the stairs only a few minutes after climbing them. Once again he was careful not to wake Lily, but before he went out the portrait, he left another letter next to her. It wasn't all that different from the one he wrote for Dumbeldore, but Remus felt he should at least say thank you.

The old man had been standing in The Three Broomsticks for quite some time, observing the night sky, admiring all the sparkling stars. A small smile played at the corner of his mouth when he heard light footsteps behind him. Dumbeldore spun around, startling the boy. Remus hadn't expected to meet anyone, especially not the headmaster.  
"So, Remus. I hear you're leaving my school." His piercing blue eyes scanning the young wizard.  
Remus quickly looked down, ashamed of himself.  
"Y-yes, sir... I'm sorry, but I can't stay here."  
"Oh, I won't stop you. These decisions are solely up to you." He paused for a few moments. "But I would, however, like to hear an explanation."  
Remus met Dumbledore's gaze, confounded. Explain? He had explained it all in the letter. Had Dumbledore not read it?  
"Sir, I'm a werewolf, I can't stay here. I could harm someone."  
"Is that why? You see, I had a very concerned miss Evans visiting me yesterday. She told me that you had some trouble with Mr Potter, Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew. That trouble has nothing to do with your decision to leave, what so ever?" He asked with a soft voice.  
Remus felt tears beginning to burn, and he tried to fight them back. He didn't want to cry in front of his headmaster. Dumbledore was suddenly very interested in a mouse that scurried in and out from under the door to The Three Broomsticks, and Remus had a chance to wipe the tears away. Dumbledore started talking to the door before he turned to face Remus once again.  
"When I was your age, I bought a very nice pointed hat. It was purple with hot pink stars and moons on it. Most people in school thought I was crazy, and they might have been right, but I thought it was really nice. So, I wore it. Yes, people laughed at me in the hallways, they whispered things when I passed them, but in the end they got used to me wearing it. After that I was just an ordinary... well, almost ordinary student."  
"I'm sorry, sir, but that's not the same. You didn't turn into a monster every month. They didn't hate you..." Remus voice trailed off as new tears filled his eyes.  
"I doubt they hate you, Remus. You haven't given them enough time to accept it. They'll come around, and I can ask them not to reveal your secret if you want me to?" The headmasters comforting hand on Remus shoulder made him feel better, and they started making their way back to the school.


	6. Making things clear

The three boys stood in Dumbledore's office, no idea why they were there. The headmaster had not yet shown up, but the youngsters had made themselves comfortable. They were, after all, rather familiar with the room. Sirius had sat down in the cosy chair opposite of Dumbledore's currently empty one, and Peter sat on the floor by Sirius's side. James wandered around the room, inspecting all the peculiar objects the old man owned. He carefully picked up a bronze instrument looking a lot like a fly, but the wings were made of some kind of black crystal. In the same moment the doors opened the fly decided to take off, and it quickly left James's hand. It flew around his head a few times before buzzing over to its master. Dumbledore rose his hand, and the fly landed gracefully, going back to sleep.  
"I see you like my little pet here, Mr Potter. A very useful tool whenever I need to find something in small places."  
The man went over to his desk and sat down, the fly still sitting on the back of his hand. Peter quickly stood up, nearly knocking over a lamp next to the desk. In the mean time, Sirius straightened up before he spoke.  
"Excuse me, sir, but why are we here? We haven't done anything." He looked extremely puzzled, watching Dumbledore's smile fade a little.  
"It's not something you've done, but something I want to ask you not to do."  
"Sir? Sorry, but what are you talking about?" James said as he strolled over to stand behind Sirius's chair. "Why have you asked us here?"  
"That, Mr Potter, is what I'll tell you in a moment. First I want you to tell me something. I've heard you've discovered something about a friend of your's. What can you tell me about it?"  
"Of Remus, sir? But you must know, don't you? You know what he is?" James's spluttered out, feeling the anger of being lied to fill him up.  
Dumbledore sat there, as calm as ever, observing the three boys. Sirius had a hard time sitting still in the soft chair, and Peter constantly shifted his weight from one foot to another.  
"Yes, I know of his condition, but I asked you. I want to know what you're going to do."  
Sirius stood up. The suddent movement made Peter jump into the air and, this time, succeed in knocking over the lamp.  
"He shouldn't be here, sir. He should be sent away!" Sirius said forcefully, rage in his voice.  
"And why is that, Mr Black?" Dumbledore asked softly, flourishing his wand, making the lamp repair itself.  
"He's a werewolf!" Sirius screamed back, as though he didn't need to explain further.  
"I know that, Mr Black. But why should he be sent away for it? Has he ever hurt you? Or anyone you know?"  
The three boys looked bewildered. They had never heard anything like this before. A werewolf, and no one's doing anything about it?  
"But... Sir, he's..." James tried to understand what was happening, but couldn't wrap his head around it.  
Dumbledore stood up, looking down on the young wizards with a smile.  
"So, are we done here? I have a very important errand in the kitchen, and I really should get going." he said as he swept over to the door, leaving the boys in a state of shock.

Remus had taken refuge in the library, where he felt safe. He knew that it was probably pointless doing his homework, seeing as he might be kicked out, but he didn't have anything else to do. He was working on a very long essay concerning obsidian's influence on sleeping potions when his former friends appeared in, the somewhat secluded, section. Remus sprang to his feet, backing away slowly only to discover a shelf blocking his way. Sirius stepped forward, holding his hands in the air.

"We're not going to hurt you, so just sit down." He refused to look the werewolf in the eyes as he spoke.

Remus complied, seeing no other choice. James stood leaned on the table, staring at the boy he had shared a room with for so long.

"I think we've made ourselves clear about what we think about you, don't you agree?" he said with a poisonous tone, not taking his eyes off the trembling Remus. "But, we've been asked not to tell anyone about your...condition, so I guess you'll stick around. But I tell you now, we want nothing to do with you. We'll sleep in the same room and we'll go to the same classes, but that's it. We will not be your friends." James turned and left without waiting for a response. Peter followed him quickly. Sirius turned to Remus before leaving, looking at him with disappointment and anger.

"You know, if you would've told us, this might not have happened."

Remus looked up at him, his amber eyes showing wisdom far beyond their years.

"Yes, Sirius, it would have." he almost whispered.

Remus tried to continue on the essay, but ended up staring into space, thinking of all the things the four Gryffindors had done together. That time when they broke into Professor Slughorn's stock room and stole ingredients for a love potion intended for Snape. The poor Slytherin boy had confessed his undying love for Professor McGonagall one morning during breakfast. Or when Sirius convinced a bunch of first years that if you feed the armour outside Filch's office, it will lead you to a great treasure. The stench of the rotting food inside the armour was unbearable before Filch understood where it came from. A weak smile spread across Remus's face as he though about it, but it quickly faded. He would be alone from now on. He had no one to turn to anymore. Remus got to his feet, took his bag and books and left the library, making his way back to the common room.


	7. Saviour

When he entered through the portrait hole, the first thing he saw was the three boys sitting by the fire, James and Sirius playing wizard's chess while Peter watched. He felt a twinge of sadness not being able to sit down with them, but he knew he should be grateful. Not many werewolves got chances like these. A proper education, to be able to live a somewhat ordinary life even for a while. He walked passed them and went up the stairs to the dormitory, sitting down on his bed, curtains closed around him. He drew a book out of his bag and had soon disappeared into it, hoping to forget recent events.

_An hour later..._

Sirius burst in, talking loudly to James, who was still at the bottom of the stairs.

"He's gonna pay, I tell you! He's not walking away from that!"

Sirius was furious, walking across to his bed in long decisive steps. He was about to pick up his cloak when James was heard panting from just outside the door. James came in, supporting a very wobbly Peter. Sirius went to his aid, and together they managed to get the plump boy into bed. Remus carefully peered out from inside his crimson curtains, not wanting to reveal himself.

"How can Toghs think we'll just take it?" Sirius spluttered out, waving his arms around him. "Doesn't he understand that we'll get back at him?"

"Sirius, calm down a little." James said, tucking Peter in. "First of all, what did they do to him? It looks like an ordinary Cunfundus spell, but I'm not sure. If it is, it'll wear off by itself." He made sure Peter was comfortable before turning his attention to Sirius.

"James, we have to act fast, before they expect it. They'll probably be in the Great Hall now, having their tea, laughin' their heads off. D'you know any good curses we can use?"

"Yes, I do! Let's use Furnunculus on him. It'll teach him not to mock us."

Sirius's mouth curled in an evil smile, his eyes glistening at what he was about to see. They threw one last glance at Peter before they went out of the dormitory once again, looking for Tobey Toghs, a very big, sixth year, Slytherin boy.

Remus had a bad feeling about this. Sure Toghs wasn't the brightest phoenix in the sky, but he was two years ahead in his magical studies and, surely, knew spells James and Sirius had never even heard of. Remus hesitated for a few moments before putting his book down and climbed out of the big bed. He opened the door very slowly to make sure James and Sirius wasn't still in the common room. He spotted them just as their backs disappeared through the portrait hole. He followed them through the castle, careful not to be seen. When the two boys reached the bottom of the marble staircase, Tobey Toghs and three of his friends exited the Great Hall and was on their way towards the dungeons. Sirius quickened his pace and cut off their way with his usual air of superiority, looking as cool as he possibly could.

"So you think it's funny to attack people randomly in the hallways, do you?"  
Tobey Toghs let out a snort that quickly turned into a cold laugh when James caught up with them.  
"Oh, you don't want to make Black mad, Toghs. He's no fun when he's mad." James said in a pitying voice, shaking his head.  
"And what do you think you can do to us? Levitate us to death?" Toghs answered, still laughing at them.  
His friends giggled at the joke, and tried to push the younger boys out of the way. But Sirius and James had no intention of letting them leave. James whipped his wand out, waving it in Toghs' face as a threat.  
"You sure you want to do this, Potter?" He said with a snarl, but didn't take his eyes off the wand. "If you really want to fight me, then let's go somewhere private. We don't want to be interrupted, now do we? What about down at the lake? No one will bother us there."  
James and Sirius looked at each other. They didn't really feel like going out on the grounds at night, and especially not with these Slytherins. Unfortunately, they didn't have much of a choice. They had challenged the Slytherins, not the other way around. James gave Toghs a nod, and they all started to move towards the door.

The cold night air felt like ice on Remus' face, and his hands were already numb. He wasn't wearing more than an old tattered shirt and a pair of trousers, and the warm cloak was still laying neatly folded at the end of his bed. He had trouble keeping up with the other boys. The way to the lake didn't have many hiding places, so following them undetected was hard. Remus had to stay far behind not to be seen, afraid he would loose track of them if they got too far ahead. Pretty soon they were by the lake, pitch black in the night making it hard to discern from the star free sky. Remus had hidden himself behind a large oak, having a good view of what was going on.**  
**"So, Potter! Have you ever duelled before?" Toghs asked with a mocking tone while taking his wand out.  
James hadn't, but smiled a reassuring smile as though he had done it a hundred times. The younger wizard shuddered slightly as they both went ten steps in the opposite direction. They turned to face each other, and one of Toghs' friends (Holliger) gave the signal to start. James saw as his opponent raised his wand, but didn't have time to cast a repelling spell. He threw himself to the right and felt the curse sweep through his hair, ruffling it fiercely. He tried to shoot the Furnunculus curse back at Toghs, but it was stopped without effort. James heard Toghs shout "Stupefy!" and a red beam shot toward James and hit him in the left leg. Since the stunning spell didn't hit him with the full blast, he didn't loose consciousness but he was still knocked to the ground. He felt the cold from the ground through his robes, making his back damp. Tobey Toghs stepped forward, towering over James, his wand ready.  
"Toghs, stop it! We give up!" Sirius shrieked while being held back by the other three Slytherins.  
"No, I think he needs to be taught a lesson" he responded while a sadistic smile spread across his face. "Ince..."  
A red jet of light shot out from behind a big tree and hit Toghs straight in the chest, preventing him from casting his own spell. As he fell unconscious to the ground, his friends quickly scampered off toward the castle.  
Sirius helped James up, making sure he was all right. They both looked at the big oak tree where they had often relaxed during hot summer days. Who had cast that stunning spell? James could not yet walk by himself so he clang to Sirius as the hurried to catch the one who had saved them. As they got around the tree, they saw a boy hurrying towards the castle. Both Sirius and James immediately saw who their saviour was. The boy they had, so recently, cast out of their lives.

Remus shivered as he hurried back to the school. He had become quite cold as he had stood behind that tree and he couldn't feel his arms and legs anymore. At least he had made sure that his friends...former friends, he corrected himself...had not been harmed. But they had, after all, been rather hostile toward him, so he thought it best to get away before they saw him.  
"Remus!" he heard someone call from behind him. He spun around so fast he lost his balance and fell to the ground. He tried to get up but before he had gotten to his feet Sirius and James had caught up with him. He desperately tried to stand, but his legs wouldn't obey him.  
"I'm sorry! I'll go, I promise. I won't bother you again." he stuttered as he was on his knees in front of them. "I'll leave Hogwarts, then you'll be rid of me."  
He was, once again, terrified of the boys he had considered friends as he waited for their response.


End file.
